- Resources for my sponsees and newcomers.
- A collection of useful or just favorite literature passages, meeting readings & prayers/meditations/intentions.
A collection of very bite-sized yet secretly profound AA wisdom – and AA-adjacent wisdom – I have collected over time.
AA Slogans
Honesty
- Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said now?
- Feelings aren’t fact!
- First step in overcoming mistakes is to admit them
- If we can’t remember our last drink, maybe we haven’t had it
- If we don’t talk about it, we’ll drink about it
- Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
- Only volunteers, no victims
- Some are sicker than others
- The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off
- Unless we accept our virtues, we will be overwhelmed with our faults
- We are only as sick as our secrets
- We didn’t get sober because the last drink was so bad, but because the first drink was so good
- We don’t always instinctively know what God’s will is for us, but we always instinctively know what it’s not
- When our insides match our outside, we’re practicing a good program
- When we dry out up a horse thief, all we have is a dry horse thief
- You haven’t lost everything yet but haven’t you lost enough?
Hope (Open-mindedness)
- Analysis is paralysis
- Bring the body and the mind will follow
- Closed mouths gather no foot
- Don’t compare—identify
- Don’t intellectualize—-utilize
- Get down to causes and conditions
- It takes time to get our brains out of hock
- Keep an open mind
- Let go of old ideas
- Look for the similarities rather than differences
- Minds are like parachutes—-they won’t work unless they’re open
- Nobody is too dumb to get sober but plenty of people are too smart
- Nothing is wasted in God’s economy
- Our best thinking got us here
- Resentment is the “number one” offender
- Resentments are like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die
- Slogans are wisdom written in shorthand
- Success means getting our BUTs out of the way
- Take the mess to our sponsor, take the message to the meeting
- Take what we can use and leave the rest
- Think, think, think
- This is a spiritual program (not a religious one)
- We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails
- When we are alone with our thoughts and our addiction, we are outnumbered
- When we focus on outcomes, we close the door on possibilities
Faith
- Came; Came to; Came to believe
- Coincidence is a miracle in which our higher power chooses to remain anonymous
- Faith is hope with a track record
- Faith is not belief without proof but trust without reservation
- Fear is the absences of faith
- If somebody doesn’t have a Higher Power and needs one, they can borrow mine
- Let go and let God
- More will be revealed
- Pray daily, God is easier to talk to than most people
- Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace amid the storm
- Tasks ahead of us are never as great as the Power behind us
- There are no atheists in foxholes
- Try the suggestion … go out on a limb… that’s where the fruit is
- We can’t, God can, we’ll let him
- Yesterday is a canceled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, only today is cash in the bank
Courage
- A.A. is meant to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions
- A.A. is not something we go to, it’s a way of life
- A.A. is the easier, softer way
- Ask us how we did it, then do what we did
- Before we say we can’t, we say we’ll try
- Courage is faith that has said its prayers
- Get to the meeting early and go to the meeting after the meeting
- If we don’t let go, we lose our grip
- Intolerance = Contempt, prior to investigation
- Reality is for people who can’t handle their booze
- Take the cotton/cork out of our ears and put it in our mouths
- There is pain in recovery. Misery is optional
- We can only be late for our first meeting
- We don’t place conditions on our sobriety
- We don’t struggle, we surrender
- Willingness is the key
Integrity (Responsibility/Accountability)
- Act “as if…”
- Be better, not bitter
- Be part of the solution, not the problem
- Can’t get clean on yesterday’s shower
- Can’t give away what we don’t have
- Do what you did and you’ll get what you got
- Don’t gossip, it can can kill
- Faith without works is dead
- “First thought wrong” properly filtered becomes “next right thing”
- Formula for failure: try to please everyone
- Gossip barbed with our anger is a polite form of murder by character assassination
- Honesty without kindness is brutality and kindness without honesty is manipulation
- Lead us not into temptation. We have proven we can find it just fine ourselves
- Only thing we take from this world when we leave is what we gave away
- Stay sober for ourselves
- To thine own self be true
Willingness (Acceptance/Surrender)
- A.A. can’t open the gates of Heaven and let us in, but it can open the gates of Hell and let us out
- All we have to change is everything!
- First step is the only step a person can work perfectly
- If it is meant to be, we can’t stop it. If it isn’t, we can’t make it happen
- If it works, don’t fix it
- If we have one foot on tomorrow and one foot on yesterday we’re pissing today
- “Itchy, Twitchy & Bitchy,” an alternative to restless, irritable & discontent
- It is not the caboose that knocks us on our butts
- It is not the experience of today that drives people mad, it is remorse of yesterday and the dread of tomorrow
- It is OK to look back at the past – just don’t stare
- It is the first drink that gets us drunk
- Just for today
- Keep sobriety first to make it last
- Keep sobriety in first place and everything else will be first class
- Keep the plug in the jug
- Live and Let Live
- Live for today. Yesterday’s history. Tomorrow’s a mystery
- Live in the NOW
- Live life on life’s terms
- Nothing works until we do
- One drink is too many because a thousand is not enough
- Only a person with my blood type can save my life and AA is my blood type
- Our worst day becomes our best day because it brings us to AA
- Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink
- Restless, irritable & discontent
- Sick and tired of being sick and tired
- Smartest thing an A.A. member can say is, help
- Step one is the only one we have to do perfectly
- There, but for the grace of God, go I
- There is no chemical solution to a spiritual problem
- Time wasted in getting even can never be used in getting ahead
- Trust God, clean house, help others
- Turn it over
- We are sitting here out of circumstance not virtue
- We know we’ll be back, so we might as well stay
- When we drank, we were committing suicide on the installment plan
- You can get off the elevator on any floor
Humility (& Gratitude!)
- A.A. works for people who believe in God. A.A. works for people who don’t believe in God. A.A. NEVER works for people who believe they ARE God
- Active alcoholics don’t have relationships; they take hostages
- Alcoholics either get sobered up, locked up, or covered up
- An alcoholic mind is like a bad neighborhood, don’t go there alone
- Anger is but one letter away from danger
- Before engaging my mouth, I put my mind in gear
- Definition of an alcoholic; an egomaniac with an inferiority complex
- Don’t count your time, make your time count
- Don’t die from Terminal uniqueness
- Greed often masquerades as ambition
- Humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less
- I am unique, just like everybody else
- If you think the program is too simple, go out and drink some more. By the time you get back you’ll be simple enough for the program
- It is hard to be a big shot in an anonymous program
- It is hard to see the picture when we’re standing in the middle of the frame
- Jails, Institutions & Morgues – the only end result of trying to manage our alcoholism ourselves
- Just another bozo on the bus
- No matter how far down the road you’ve gone in your recovery, you’re still the same distance from a ditch
- Nobody needs to have an opinion about everything
- None of us came here on a winning streak
- None of us got here from drinking too much coffee
- Only thing I need to know about God is that I ain’t Him
- Our ego is not our amigo
- Person with the most sobriety at a meeting is the one who got up earliest that morning
- Plan the plan, but don’t plan the results
- Principles before personalities
- RULE 62: don’t take ourselves so damn seriously
- Short version of the Serenity Prayer: Lighten up
- Sometimes we have to fall to our knees to rise back to our feet
- Spirituality is the ability to get our minds off ourselves
- Stay in your own lane
- Take suggestions
- Too many years and not enough days
- We all have another drunk left in us but we don’t know if we have another recovery in us
- We are all here because we’re not all there
- We can’t save our face and our ass at the same time
- We might have another drunk left in us, but do we have another recovery?
- When our heads begins to swell our minds stop growing
- When we do all the talking we only learn what we already know
- Count our blessings
- Everyday is a gift that’s why we call it the present
- Have an attitude of gratitude
- Our worst day in sobriety is better than our best day drunk
- Practice an attitude of gratitude
- Religion is for those who fear Hell, spirituality is for those who have been there
- Replace guilt with gratitude
- Shame we can’t forget our troubles the same way we forget our blessings
- We didn’t get sober to be miserable
- Whatever we put ahead of our sobriety, we will lose
Love
- A.A. may not solve all our problems but it is willing to share them
- Burdens shared are halved; but joys shared are doubled
- Honesty gets us sober but tolerance keeps us sober
- Three A’s in AA: affection (thoughtfulness), attention (listening), appreciation (gratitude)
- Three suggestions for making an AA speech: 1.) Be INTERESTING 2.) Be BRIEF 3.) Be SEATED
- To be forgiven we must forgive
- Tolerance is the antechamber to forgiveness
- We will love you, until you learn to love yourself
- Work the program from the waist up
- You are not alone
Discipline
- A.A. is a simple program for complex people
- Awareness > acceptance > action
- Do the next right thing
- Don’t drink, read the Big Book, and go to meetings
- Don’t go looking for a relationship in a bowl of nuts
- Don’t try to clear away the wreckage of the future
- Easy Does it …but do it!
- Fake it till we make it
- First thing’s first
- Half measures availed us nothing
- I only need one meeting a week, I just don’t know which one
- If we find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere
- If we don’t want to slip, we stay away from slippery places
- If you want what we have then you’re willing to go to any lengths to get it
- It is always easier to take somebody else’s inventory
- It is easy to talk the talk, but we have to walk the walk
- Keep coming back, it works if we work it
- Meeting-makers make it
- Our daily reprieve of sobriety is contingent on our spiritual condition
- People who don’t come to meetings don’t hear what happens to people who don’t come to meetings
- Practice makes progress
- Practice restraint of tongue & pen (and email/tweet)
- Pray for potatoes, but pray with a hoe
- Pray to God but row to shore
- Procrastination is merely sloth in five syllables
- Seven days without an A.A. meeting makes one weak
- Talk does not cook rice
- Trying to pray is praying
- We can’t speed up our recovery, but we sure can slow it down
- We go to meetings when we want to, and we go to meetings when we don’t want to
- We have Twenty/Twenty vision: we see to it we come 20 minutes before the meeting, and stay 20 minutes after
- When we least feel like going is when we most need a meeting
Patience/Perseverance
- A.A. doesn’t add years to your life but life to your years
- A.A. is an education without graduation
- Change is a process, not an event
- Don’t give up before the miracle happens
- First it gets better, then it gets worse, then it gets different, and then it gets real
- First we stayed sober because we had to…then we stayed sober because we were willing to…now we stay sober because we want to
- First you show up, then you throw up, then you grow up
- Give time time
- In the beginning we went for our drinking. Today we go for our thinking
- It works if we work it
- Journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step
- Our doors swing both ways in AA
- Pain is the touchstone of progress
- Patience takes patience
- Recovery has peaks and valleys, just don’t move your furniture to the valley
- Responsible for the effort not the outcome
- Slow but sure
- Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
- There are no elevators in A.A., only steps
- This, too, shall pass
- Time takes time
- We move at the speed of pain
- When we put our program first, whatever we put second will be first rate
- Winners are just losers who kept trying
- You will go far in the program because you have a long way to go!
Awareness
- Alcoholism is an equal opportunity destroyer
- Am I where my feet are?
- Are we walking toward a drink or away from one?
- Cunning, baffling, powerful, and patient – alcoholism
- Depression, anger, worry, self-pity – the biggest offenders that drive us to drink
- Depression is anger aimed inward
- Don’t believe everything you think
- Don’t let unpleasant people live rent-free in our heads
- Everything I own can fit in a shot glass
- Expectations are just planned resentments
- Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed
- First it’s magic. Then it’s medicine. Then it’s misery – addiction
- “First thought wrong” is our disease, not our destiny
- Happiness is that feeling of being at the right place at the right time doing the right thing
- I drank because it hurt so bad and I stopped because it’s supposed to
- In A.A. we get an owner’s manual to go with our new life
- If we hang around the barber shop long enough, we’ll get a haircut
- Incurable, progressive, and fatal – Alcoholism
- Insanity is doing the same thing over, and over again, expecting different results
- Look, listen, label, let it be
- Noone ever dies from a snake bite; It’s the venom that continues to course through their system after that eventually kills them
- Our best friend became our worst enemy
- Remember our last drunk
- Relapses start with at least 1 of 3 thoughts: this time it will be different; it wasn’t that bad; one can’t hurt
- Stay in the main tent, and out of the sideshow
- Stay in the middle of the boat/in the middle of the herd
- The spectators see the chess game better than the players
- There are two days in every week which we have no control over—-yesterday and tomorrow. Today is the only day we can change
- Today we have more solutions than problems
- Today we soak up A.A. the way we used to soak up alcohol
- Treatment centers are where we go and pay $15,000 to find out that A.A. meetings are free
- Use the 24-hour plan
- We have a built-in forgetter
- We have a disease that tells us we don’t have a disease
- We have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem
- What we did as children to survive can become our undoing as adults
- Wherever we go, there we are
- While we’re in the meeting, our disease is doing pushups in the parking lot
- With a gut full of A.A., we won’t have room for beer
Service
- A.A. is a school in which we are all learners and all teachers
- All anyone needs to start an A.A. meeting is a resentment and a coffee pot
- Danger sign: when our eyes have wandered from the alcoholics who still suffers and needs help …. to the faults of those whom the program has already helped
- Give it away in order to keep it
- If we don’t stick with the bunch, we’ll get peeled
- It is a WE program
- Let God save your soul…we’re here to save your ass!
- Make use of the telephone therapy
- Opposite of addiction is connection
- Pass it on
- Stay as enthusiastic about A.A. as we were about our drinking
- Stick with the winners
- The steps will protect us from alcohol, the traditions protect us from alcoholics
- Three t’s of gratitude to repay AA for our sobriety: our time, our talent, our treasure
- To keep it, we have to give it away
- Twelve Steps tell us how it works; Twelve Traditions tell us why it works
- Unity, recovery, and service
- We don’t carry the alcoholic; we carry the message
- We received without cost, now give without charge
AA Acronyms:
- E.G.O.= Edging God Out
- F.A.I.T.H.: Fantastic Adventure in Trusting HP
- F.E.A.R.= Frustration, Ego, Anxiety, Resentment
- F.E.A.R.= False Evidence Appearing Real
- F.E.A.R.= Face Everything and Recover
- F.I.N.E.= F–ked-up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional
- G.O.D.= Good Orderly Direction
- G.O.D.= Group of Drunks
- G.O.D.= Gift of Desperation
- H.A.L.T.= Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired
- H.I.T.= Hang In There
- H.O.P.E.= Hearing Other People’s Experience
- H.O.P.E. = Hold On Peace Exists
- H.O.W.= Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness
- I.S.M.= Incredibly Short Memory
- K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple Stupid
- K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple & Sober
- N.U.T.S.= Not Using the Steps
- Y.E.T. = You’re Eligible Too
Literature Quotes:
- Pg. xi PREFACE Because this book has become the basic text for our Society and has helped such a large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recovery, there exists a sentiment against any radical changes being made in it.
- Pg. xiii FOREWARD TO FIRST EDITION We of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary.
- Pg. xvi FOREWARD TO SECOND EDITION Prior to his journey to Akron, the broker had worked hard with many alcoholics on the theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic, but he had succeeded only in keeping sober himself.
- Pg. xvi He suddenly realized that in order to save himself he must carry his message to another alcoholic.
- Pg. xvi, xvii This seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no nonalcoholic could. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery.
- Pg. xvii “…strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery.”
- Pg. xxii FOREWARD TO THIRD EDITION In spite of the great increase in the size and span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope.
- THE DOCTOR’S OPINION Pg. xxiv-xxv Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
- Pg. xxvi We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.
- Pg. xxvi In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, if they are to re- create their lives.
- Pg. xxvi We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic* movement now growing up among them.
- Pg. xxvi Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.
- Pg. xxvi They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—-drinks which they see others taking with impunity.
- Pg. xxvii After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
- Pg. xxvii On the other hand–and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand–once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
- Pg. xxvii One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change.
- Pg. xxviii All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
- Pg. xxviii I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray.
- BILL’S STORY Pg. 12 It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point.
- Page 12; “why don’t you choose your own conception of God?”
- Pg. 14,15 My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principals in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual fe through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die.
- THERE IS A SOLUTION Pg 17 “We are average Americans. All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds.”
- Pg. 17 The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.
- Pg. 18 Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. Strangely enough, wives, parents and intimate friends usually find us even more unapproachable than do the psychiatrist and the doctor. But the ex-problem drinker who has found the solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.
- Pg. 20 Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.
- Pg. 20 If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking–“What do I have to do?”
- Pg. 21 But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.
- Pg. 22,23 We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.
- Pg. 23 These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.
- Pg. 24 At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected.
- Pg. 24 The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
- Pg. 24 When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane.
- Pg. 25 There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.
- Pg. 25 The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.
- Pg. 25 We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.
- MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Pg. 30 The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
- Pg. 30 We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
- Pg. 30 We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
- Pg. 31 Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic.
- Pg. 31 Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic.
- Pg. 33 To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have.
- Pg. 33 Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop.
- Pg. 34 As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success.
- Pg. 39 That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.
- Pg. 43 Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
- WE AGNOSTICS Pg. 44 If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
- Pg. 45 Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem.
- Pg. 46 We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.
- Pg. 46 As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him.
- Pg. 47 We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure hem that he is on his way.
- Pg. 50 In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Every one of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible.
- Pg. 52 When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.
- Pg. 53 When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn’t. What was our choice to be?
- Pg. 55 Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
- Pg. 58-59 Remember that we deal with alcohol – cunning, baffling, powerful!
- HOW IT WORKS Pg. 62 Selfishness–self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. We had to have God’s help. This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
- Pg. 63 We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: “God, I offer myself to Thee–to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!” This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
- Pg. 63, 64 Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations. Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.
- Pg. 65 We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty.
- Pg. 66 It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.
- Pg. 67 Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man’s. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.
- Pg. 68 We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.
- Pg. 68 The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.
- Pg. 70 Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience.
- Pg. 70, 71 In this book you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself.
- INTO ACTION Pg. 72 We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter.
- Pg. 72 In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk.
- Pg. 73, 74 We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. We have no right to save our own skin at another person’s expense. The rule is we must be hard on ourselves, but always considerate of others.
- Pg. 75 Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
- Pg. 76 If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?
- Pg. 76 When ready, we say something like this: “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” We have then completed Step Seven.
- Pg. 76 Now we need more action, without which we find that “Faith without works is dead.” Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
- Pg. 77 Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.
- Pg. 77, 78 It is harder to go to an enemy than a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret. Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do.
- Pg. 84 We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
- Pg. 84-85 Love and tolerance of others is our code. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality – safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
- Pg. 85 It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.
- Pg. 87 As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
- THE FAMILY AFTERWARD Pg. 133 “We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.”
- TO EMPLOYERS Pg. 145 The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear.
- A VISION FOR YOU Pg. 164 “Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little.”
Pg 417: And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.
Lydia’s Character Defect List ( visit her site for updated versions of this list)
- anger, hatred
- anxiety – Not as a clinical diagnosis, but as a general way of viewing things with an eye toward what is wrong, what might be wrong, what has been wrong or what is going to be wrong. Excessive worry, especially about things I cannot change.
- arrogance – Offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.
- closed mindedness – Contempt prior to investigation. Disregarding things and ideas just because they are new and unknown. Being unwilling to try things or follow suggestions. Failing to remain teachable. Having a mind firmly unreceptive to new ideas or arguments.
- dependency, over dependency, co dependency – Relying on others to provide for us what we ought to provide for ourselves. Feeling we must be in a relationship, or must hold on to others who want to move on. Letting others control us to an extreme due to our fear of being alone, abandoned, or independent.
- depression, pessimism – Not as a clinical condition, but as a way to generally see the dark side of things.
- dishonesty – Sins of omission and commission. Telling lies, hiding things, telling half truths or pretending something is so that isn’t. Withholding important information. Adding untrue details to stories and situations. Stealing, cheating, taking things that aren’t ours and that we aren’t entitled to.
- controlling attitude toward people, places and things – Trying to control others by manipulation, bribery, punishment, withholding things or tricking them into acting as we wish, even when we believe it is in their best interest to do so. Failing to be equal partners with others and to consider their knowledge and opinions.
- fear
- gluttony, greed – Wanting and taking too much: food, sex, time, money, comfort, leisure, material possessions, attention, security. Acquiring things (material things, relationships, attention) at the expense of others.
- gossiping – Speaking or writing about others in a negative manner, especially to get them in trouble or to feel superior to them and bond with someone else against the target of the gossip. When I find myself talking about someone, I must pause and check out why I am mentioning their name.
- humility, a lack of humility – Feeling better than and worse than others, and being self centered.
- impatience – Being frustrated by waiting, wanting often to be some time in the future, wanting something to change or improve rather than accepting it as it is.
- intolerance – Not accepting people or things for who or what they are.
- inventory taking, being judgmental – Noticing and listing, out loud or to ourselves, the faults of others.
- jealousy and envy – Wanting what others have, feeling we don’t have enough or deserve more, wishing we had what others do instead of them. This applies to material possessions like houses, cars, money and such. It also applies to nonmaterial things like relationships, a nice family, children, parents, friends and partners, and fulfilling work relationships. We can envy others their looks and physical appearance, their talents and physical abilities or attributes such as thinness, tallness, sports ability or musical talent.
- laziness, procrastination, sloth – Not doing as much as is reasonable for us to do. Putting things off repeatedly. Not carrying our own load as much as we are able. Letting others provide things for us that we ought to get for ourselves.
- perfectionism – Expecting or demanding too much from ourselves or others. Treating things that aren’t perfect as not good enough. Not recognizing a good try or progress.
- prejudice – Pre-judging people based on a group they belong to. Negative feelings about someone based on their religion, race, nationality, age, disability, sexual orientation, accent, politics, economic status, physical characteristics like height, weight, hair style, clothing style, physical fitness.
- rationalization, minimizing and justifying, self-justification – Saying and/or believing I had good motives for bad behavior. Saying that I did bad things for good reasons, or that what I did really wasn’t that bad.
- resentment – The feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.
- rigidity and fear of change
- self centeredness, selfishness – Spending excessive time thinking about myself. Considering myself first in situations. Not having enough regard for others or thinking about how circumstances hurt or help others. Thinking about what I can get out of situations and people, what’s in it for me? Spending too much time considering my appearance, acquiring things for myself, pampering myself, indulging myself.
- self pity
191 Character Defects
-
Abusing Others for enjoyment
-
Action, failing to take
-
Aloof
-
Anger 37, 66, 88, 108, 135
-
Antagonistic
-
Anxiety
-
Anxious, overly
-
Apathetic
-
Apologetic, overly
-
Appearances, preoccupied or obsessed with
-
Argumentative
-
Arrogance
-
Avarice
-
Avoiding confrontation
-
Beating yourself up
-
Beauty, obsession or preoccupation with
-
Bigotry
-
Blaming others for disease
-
Blaming self for disease
-
Boastful
-
Boundaries, not setting
-
Busybody
-
Cheating
-
Choosing easy prey, gossip
-
Choosing easy prey, physical
-
Closed-mindedness
-
Codependenc
-
Coldheartedness
-
Communication, avoiding
-
Communication, poor
-
Companions, seeking corrupt / lower
-
Compassion, lack of
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Competitive, excessively
-
Complaining
-
Conceit
-
Condemning
-
Confrontation, avoiding
-
Controlling
-
Controlling Others
-
Cowardice
-
Critical
-
Crude
-
Deceptive, deceiving
-
Dependency, dependent
-
Dependent on parents
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Destructive
-
Devious
-
Different, thinking you are
-
Disease, feeling responsible for/taking credit for
-
Disease, making excuses for
-
Disease, not accepting
-
Dishonesty
-
Dishonesty by omission
-
Disorganized
-
Egotistical
-
Envious
-
Exaggeration
-
Excess
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Faith, lack of faith in God
-
Fanatical
-
Fantasizing
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Favoritism, playing favorites
-
Fearful
-
Filthy-mindedness
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Financially dependent on others
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Financially insecure
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Following through, failing to
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Frustration
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Gluttony
-
Gossiping
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Greed
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Guilt, about sexual fantasies
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Guilt, excessive feelings of
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Guilt, feeling guilty for things beyond control
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Harsh
-
Hate
-
Hatred of others
-
Hatred of self
79 Health, irresponsibility with or neglect of
80 Help, refusing/not asking for
81 Hopelessness
82 Ignorance Ignorance 2, 20, 107
83 Ill wishes toward others
84 Immodesty
85 Impatience
86 Impulsive purchaser
87 Inadequacy, sense of
88 Incompassionate
89 Inconsiderate Inconsiderate 69, 82, 108, 125
90 Indecisive Indecision 86
91 Indifferent
92 Injustice
93 Insecure in your own skin
94 Insecure in sexuality
95 Insecurity, financial
96 Insensitivity
97 Insincerity Insincere 96
98 Intolerance Intolerance 50, 103, 120, 135, 160
99 Intolerance of sick people
100 Inventory, taking other’s
101 Irresponsibility
102 Irresponsibility, financial
103 Irresponsible
104 Isolating
105 Jealousy
106 Judgmental of others
107 Knowing it all
108 Laziness110 Leering, crude toward Lewd
112 Lifestyles, not accepting others’
113 Love and friendship, refusal to accept
114 Lustful
115 Lying
116 Making excuses for disease
insecure
118 Manipulative
119 Measuring self against others
120 Meddling
121 Messy
122 Miserliness
123 Negative body image
124 Negative Thinking
125 Negatives, focusing on or magnifying
126 Neglectful
127 Opinionated
128 Opinions, not respecting others’
129 Overcompensating for projected wrongs
130 Overcompensating for weaknesses
131 Perfectionism
132 Pessimism
133 Physical appearance, obsession or preoccupation with
134 Physical health, neglect of
135 Playing God
136 Playing God with self
137 Positives, not looking at
138 Possessive
139 Preachy
140 Prejudice
141 Pride, False
142 Pride, Intellectual
143 Pride, Spiritual
144 Procrastination
145 Program, working other’s
146 Psychoanalysis of others
147 Reckless
148 Remorseful
149 Resentment
150 Revenge, vengefulness
151 Rude
152 Sarcastic
153 Secretive
154 Seeking attention
155 Seeking negative attention
156 Self Condemnation
157 Self Deprecating humor
158 Self Importance
159 Self Justification
160 Self Pity
161 Self reliance
162 Self Seeking
163 Self, putting self on pedestal
164 Self-absorbed
165 Self-centeredness Self-centeredness 14, 61, 62, 64, 111*, 124
166 Self-hatred
167 Self-indulgence
168 Selfishness Selfish 7, 21, 61, 67, 69, 82, 84, 86, 87
169 Self-loathing
170 Setting expectations
171 Sex, hidden
172 Sex, lack of appreciation for
173 Skeptical
174 Sloth
175 Stealing Stealing 68
176 Step on others to get to top
177 Stewardship of assets, poor
178 Suspicious
179 Thoughtless
180 Thrill-seeking
181 Uncharitableness
182 Uncleanness
183 Undependable
184 Undisciplined
185 Unfaithful
186 Ungrateful
187 Uniqueness, terminal
188 Unreliable
189 Untrustworthy
190 Valuing the opinion of a sick mind
191 Vengeful
192 Vulgar Immoral Thinking
193 Wasteful
194 Worry
List of Character Defects
Abrasiveness
Aggression
Aloofness
Anger
Apathy
Argumentativeness
Arrogance
Attention-seeking
Bigotry
Belligerent
Bitter
Bossy
Braggart
Careless
Cold-hearted
Complainer
Compulsive
Critical
Cruelty
Deceitful
Defensiveness
Denial
Dependent
Depression
Detached
Discrimination
Dishonesty
Disorganized
Distant
Distrustful
Dominating
Dramatic
Egocentric
Enviousness
Evasiveness
Fear
Flightiness
Forgetfulness
Gluttony
Gossiping
Grandiose
Greed
Guilty Conscience
Hate
Head-strong
Hostile
Humorless
Immature
Impatience
Impulsive
In-authenticity
Inconsiderate
Inconsistent
Indecisive
Indulgent
Inhibited
Insecure
Insensitive
Intolerant
Irritable
Isolationism
Jealousy
Laziness
Lust
Lying
Manipulative
Materialism
Negative Thinking
Neglect
Obsessed
Opinionated
Over-cautious
Overly-emotional
Passivity
Perfectionism
Perversion
Pessimism
Preoccupation
Pride (to what degree?)
Procrastination
Promiscuity
Prudish
Quarrelsome
Rageful
Rebellious
Reckless
Resentful
Rudeness
Rueful
Sarcasm
Secretive
Self-centered
Self-condemnation
Self-doubting
Self-hating
Self-importance
Selfishness
Self-justification
Self-pity
Self-seeking
Short-temperedness
Shyness
Snobbery
Stinginess
Stubbornness
Submissive
Superficial
Thin-skinned
Thoughtless
Tight
Timid
Uncritical
Undependable
Undisciplined
Unemotional
Unfriendly
Unrealistic
Unromantic
Unscrupulous
Unstable
Vague
Vanity
Vindictive
Vulgar
White-knuckled
Withdrawn
Workaholic
List of Character Assets
Accepting
Agreeable
Analytical
Approving
Assertive
Attention-giving
Attentive
Bold
Careful
Cautious
Cheerful
Concerned
Confident
Considerate
Content
Controlled
Cooperative
Decisive
Dependable
Disciplined
Extroverted
Flexible
Forgiving
Free
Friendly
Generous
Gentle
Good Listener
Giving
Guilt-free
Helpful
Honest
Humble
Industrious
Involved
Kind
Lawful
Loving
Moderate
Modest
Nice
Open
Open-minded
Optimistic
Organized
Outgoing
Patient
Peaceful
Permissive
Persistent
Playful
Polite
Rational
Realistic
Relaxed
Reliable
Romantic
Selfless
Self-liking
Self-sufficient
Sensitive
Serene
Sociable
Social
Specific
Spiritual
Steady
Straight-forward
Thoughtful
Tolerant
Trusting
Trusting
Unassuming
Venturous
Warm
Willing
Witty